I’m a mom, stepmom, and theatre educator helping exhausted parents access their inner creative playfulness for more connection and joy. No messy crafts, complicated setups, or sensory bins here! Just simple, silly moments that bring your family back together through laughter. My short weekly emails share reflections from real life and a simple invitation you can try for yourself or with your kids.
How I got my son and his friend to stop spitting at each other (and me)
|
Yesterday our dear friends were over and just before it was time for them to go home, the witching hour had started. My son’s best friend was running around, sticking out his tongue and blowing wet raspberries at everyone, spit included. We told him to stop. We told him “spit stays in your mouth.” But it was the end of a long day, and he literally was not hearing us… you know when kids are dysregulated and just on another level? It was that. To make matters worse, my son picked up on it and was running around laughing and doing it, too. Then, my friend said something that made a lightbulb go off in my head. “It’s like he’s getting a kick out of me telling him NOT to do it.” DING! went the lightbulb in my head. Of course! This wild, silly energy was the perfect opportunity for one of my favorite playful strategies I like to call Playing the Opposite. (it’s where I pretend in a silly way to be confused, angry, or scared when they do something I'd actually like them to do... which in this case was do something ELSE rather than spit). “Ohhhh,” I said in a mysterious voice. They both stopped in their tracks and looked at me. “I reaaalllllly hope you guys don’t start BEEPING! Because I might get confused and think there are CARS driving around the living room!” (I don’t know why I chose beeping; it was the first thing that came to my head that would be one notch down on the annoying-meter than spitting) You can probably guess what happened next: “Beep! Beep! Beep-beep!!” they started running around beeping at me, and I whirled around saying, “What the heck?! There’s cars in my living room?!?!” When they laughed I said, “ohhhh it was just YOU guys? Heyyyy, you tricked me!! Well, I hope you don’t start honking like a monster truck in traffic because then I’ll REALLY get scared!” Honking and laughter followed. The next thing that came out of my mouth as I plopped down on the couch: “Wow, I really hope you guys don’t try to convince me I’m on an airplane ride by coming up to me pretending to be flight attendants and giving me stuff!!” My son’s friend jumped up next to me and started making “airplane sounds” as my son ran back and forth to the shelf, handing me toys. By the time my pretend flight had pretend-landed, my friend was all packed up and it was time to say goodbye. No more spitting involved. I get caught up in overwhelm and frustration just as much as the next person, especially when it comes to our kids continuing to do something we’ve told them to stop doing. I’m not always able to “activate play mode” in the heat of the moment, but I’m glad I was able to today because it ended up being funny, sweet, and honestly one of the best little parts of my day. When kids are on another level like that, activating play mode is often the best way to reach them. A followup conversation about appropriate behavior can land much better when it happens later, out of the moment when everyone is snuggled up, more calm, and connected. Btw, "Playing the Opposite" is one of 11 core strategies I teach in Activate Play Mode, an audio course that comes with access to our private community of parents from around the world who want to incorporate more playfulness into this season of life. (AND, we just moved our community onto the Circle app where we can chat with each other so easily! If you already have APM, you should have an email with the link to join from me. 🥹) If you’re interested, you can learn more about it HERE and reply back if you have any questions. My invitation for you this week: If your kids are on another level, see if you can meet them where they’re at... even just a little! Contrary to how it probably sounds, this didn’t actually take a lot of energy from me. I just threw out a silly suggestion and then pretended to be bewildered. I even played the fool as I lounged on the couch! It wasn't my physical energy so much as the willingness to meet them in "silly-land" that got through. Cheering you on always, Mia 💞 MORE FROM PLAYFUL HEART PARENTING: My all-time favorite improv games for family connection! Prompt-based games and easy, silly moment ideas (1500+ prompts and counting!) 11 core strategies for using play as a tool for more ease and joy in parenting. Includes lifetime course access and private community. |
Playful Heart Parenting
I’m a mom, stepmom, and theatre educator helping exhausted parents access their inner creative playfulness for more connection and joy. No messy crafts, complicated setups, or sensory bins here! Just simple, silly moments that bring your family back together through laughter. My short weekly emails share reflections from real life and a simple invitation you can try for yourself or with your kids.
(Hey, that subject line rhymes!) We just got back from our first big family adventure visiting family across the country, and as usual I was in hustle-and-bustle mode, drenched in sweat from packing… already running late as usual for our fam… (Side note, I used garbage bags and then sat on them to press out all the air and semi-vacuum-seal our clothes and I felt like a GENIUS… I am going to pretend I discovered this so don’t correct me if I’m wrong, let me have this 🏆) When we got to security...
I recently got punched in the EYEBALL with the corner of a Rubik’s cube. It all started when I felt like I was CRUSHING it at being a mom, doing all of the following at once: Reading to my toddler on the couch (aka she was sitting on top of my chest and flipping the pages before I could read any of the words) Playing the “Jingle Game” with my 10yo stepdaughter, perched on the top of the couch - this is where we give each other random items and then make up a jingle together for them on the...
Father's Day morning was off to a rough start in our house... It was like each kid was taking turns having a hard time... which was then making me more stressed than usual because of the pressure of it to be a happy day for my husband. (Ugh, holidays can be so weird like that you know??) I had a picture in my head of how it was going to go and it was quickly disintegrating. Once everyone was semi-chill and together on the couch, I grabbed the "Dad Libs" I'd made for the Father's Day games and...